Celebrate.

What is it about other people winning that makes us feel like we're losing? I am not talking about winning and losing in the sense of a sporting event or a game, I am talking about those wins and losses that happen in our daily lives. For example: If my friend has been working really hard at starting a business and it finally starts to pay off and they become successful (win), I almost always immediately follow with a thought like this "man.. I wish I had that.. or dang.. I am not successful.. or they must be further along in life than me"...(lose). Here's the thing, I am not even starting a business, I have never really wanted to start a business, and my "further along" parameters aren't even based in real value. Why in the world does their success mean anything about me? (hint: it doesn't.)

Here's another one: I am a talented vocalist (win) and my friend is also a talented vocalist ("lose"). Isn't it true that we almost always think "oh man, that person is talented... that must mean that I'm not, or I need to prove myself, or I need to be better than them"? Why is it that their talent has to mean anything about us or our identity at all? Why can't we celebrate and praise their win without counting it a loss for us? Could it be that we are so driven by approval, so driven by a desire to be known on a global scale (think social media) that we have forgotten that we are created to be locally known? We were created for relationships. We were created for community. We were created to build others up. How can we do those things, if we can't even appreciate who someone else was created to be? How can we do that well if we aren't celebrating with each other? Let's practice this: give someone an intentional compliment about something you think they do well and if a negative thought immediately follows, recognize it, own it, and then replace it with truth. Encouraging others does not have to be about us, in fact, by its very nature it shouldn't be about us. Let's quit undercutting each other or over-imposing our sense of self into someone else's win. Let's C E L E B R A T E.

Tea time.

What is the point of hospitality? By this I mean why have people over to your home? I think it is a basic human desire to be known and to feel known. What's a good way to get to know someone? Spend time with them. Bonding takes place so naturally over a meal or a snack or a beverage, or tea time, if you will. Having this experience at your home makes both parties feel as if they aren't rushed, and it invites them into a more intimate and private setting. It shows your guest a part of you, an expression of how you live and what your life may be like "behind the scenes".

Hospitality isn't just creating a physical space, but also a presence of mind and a reflection of the heart. If your goal is to have someone over so you can boast about something, or discuss someone else in a damaging way, that wouldn't be considered hospitality. Hospitality is about getting to know someone on a more intimate level. It's about hearing someone's story, engaging them in thoughtful dialogue and then sharing about yourself. It's a give and take in the hopes of being known AND knowing someone else. This is vital. Have you ever spent an hour or two with someone listening to them talk about themselves the entire time, never to ask you a single question? It's uncomfortable isn't it? It's annoying, it's rude and at a certain point you stop taking in information. You become an expert on the person at the table next to you, the conversation happening behind you, and the paint chipping on the wall in front of you. Now, here is the flip side. Have you ever spent an hour or two with someone and realized that you never stopped to ask that person anything? You noticed them getting a glazed-over look, or suddenly checking the time or texting with someone else, but you just kept yammering? A give and take in conversation is essential in knowing someone and being known back. It goes both ways. I don't care who you are, your life isn't more important than your friend's and vice versa. They both have value and meaning and it is important that your time with each other reflects that.

Some practical tips:

In conversation:

If you have been talking about yourself for several minutes, think 'what is something intentional I can ask this person?' and then LISTEN to what they are telling you. Take a key part of what they are saying, and ask a follow up question. Repeat.

If you are the listening type of person who tends to just listen to all of your friend's stories on repeat, don't be afraid to speak up and to share something about yourself. You can play off of something the other person is telling you by sharing a similar story or gently shift topics to something you would like to discuss.

If this is a person you trust, the more vulnerable you are in conversation, the more vulnerable they will also be. Setting the tone for a meaningful conversation can be scary, but it is usually worth it.

In hosting:

If you feel that you are uncomfortable hosting, try it anyway. Make sure your space is relatively clean, and if you don't like cooking, order take out or pick something up from a local eatery. If this is a financial burden, you can have your friend Venmo you back, or plan to have them over during a "non-meal" time and have something to munch on and coffee or tea available. 

Have a game or two available just in case it takes a minute to get things going conversationally. 

Know your guest. Make sure you ask them what they do and don't like. Make it a priority to have something you know that they will want to have. 

For Such A Time As This.

Have you ever thought about the profound fact that the Lord ordained our time on Earth to be this very day and age? It is so easy to get swept up in the bustle of life or the "what's next?" game and to completely forget the fact that it is a sheer miracle that we are even on this earth at this very moment. Decades, centuries, millennia have passed, history has unfolded, men and women have risen and fallen, people have achieved earthly greatness, others have missed out on their full potential, stories have unraveled and people have passed away, but you and I, as we sit here breathing in and out.. in and out.. in and out.. are living miracles. Each of our breaths are a gift from an Immaculate Creator, intended to be lived by none other than us! Someone told me the other day that God created each of us for a purpose, but it is our choice whether or not we live up to our potential. Sit in that for a moment. We get to decide how we are going to live this life AND we have direct access to a Divine Creator. 

Here's the thing, human beings have a boundless aptitude for distraction. Throughout the span of time, we see people looking around at what others are doing and comparing themselves, dissatisfied with their appearance or their status, talking about and criticizing others, looking down on people, filling their time with fretful worrying or nonsensical busyness, the list goes on... Does any of this sound familiar? Time has not secluded distractions and gratifications to this present technology age. While there is a newness to the ability to instantly gratify ourselves, or fill our time with mindless pleasure through the use of tv shows, social media or phones, human beings were always completely capable of such distractions through other outlets. Here is my point: WE ARE HERE AT THIS EXACT MOMENT FOR A SPECIFIC AND INTENTIONAL PURPOSE THAT GLORIFIES THE CREATOR OF LIFE. We can so easily miss that! Rest in this space and truth, you matter and you are here and your time is precious and valuable. You were created for such a time as this.

Vegas.

What a horrific week for the American people.  What a shock for the family and friends of those planning to attend a seemingly harmless event for sheer enjoyment. How does a human's heart become black with anger and bitterness, burning with an intensity so grotesque that the answer for them is to open fire on their fellow citizens? Now both the injured and uninjured in attendance bear wounds of physicality and of anxiety, flashbacks and nightmares. A regular marked day flashed quickly to a day of prominence and pain, one forever etched in their mind.

It is so scary to think that evil can lurk among unknown faces and passerby. We come into contact with countless people everyday, faces we see and then quickly forget, the person behind us in line at the store, the people we pass on our morning walk or jog, the kids running freely in the fields and playgrounds. How quickly we are robbed of our innocence and carefree thoughts and ignorance to horror and panic. 

Fear and ugly premonitions now linger around joint comraderie and cheerful circumstances. Art and music usually brimming with beauty and laughter and dancing are now shadowed and tainted by these sudden attacks of violence. There will now be questions of concern and safety and worries from parents and loved ones as people group together in any number of great size and proportions. 

Unfortunately, I cannot offer any clear answers or explanations for tainted humans who are selfish enough to think they have the right to determine the end to someone's life. However, as I look upon the sunset and hear the song of creatures early in the morning, I am reminded of the light that exists beyond the dawn. The light that has the power to change blackened hearts into those white as snow with the power and juxtaposition of crimson blood. It is our mission to spread cheer and good news which must increase in light of these bleak events. Though we may never grasp the reason for all of human suffering, we must remember the day in which it will drastically come to an end. All pain, tears, horror, terror, anxiousness and darkness will be usurped by a mighty King who does not delight in evil, but opposes it firmly. For it is Him that created goodness and mercy and lovingkindness and who values each of his beloved creations.

"Beloved, do not imitate evil, but imitate good. Whoever does good is from God; whoever does evil has not seen God." -3 John 1:11

Until next time,

Karly

Sleepy Head

There is something so sweet and endearing about someone who is about to fall asleep or someone who has just woken up. Some of my favorite times to spend with Daniel are during such times. It's so cute to see him stretch and yawn and smack his lips and then cozy back down into the covers or nuzzle into my arm. Sometimes he takes his whole head and nudges underneath my arm until he can get his whole top half through it. During these times, I think this must be a little glimpse into what he must have been like as a child, wanting to be loved and cuddled. 

Fuzzy head, sleepy eyes

Groggy look on the face

Deep yawns and nonsense sentences

All of this garners a sense of innocence. There are deep parts of us that desire that kind of love and comfort. The kind that allows us to be a fuzz head and laugh and share sweet moments before the world knocks at our door again. What would life be like if we took in those moments more deeply? If we cherished the love and warmth of each other? Imagine it for a moment. What a beautiful picture. Sometimes we need to pause and recognize that love can come in something so simple as a fuzzy head and sleepy eyes. 

Until next time, 

Karly